


the reunion

by chapter_61



Series: COC 2019 [14]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown 2019, DEC 8 - Favorite Trope/Cliche, Day 14: Favorite Trope/Cliche, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21722125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chapter_61/pseuds/chapter_61
Summary: “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”I can, actually. Simon Snow can make me do anything just by asking. I’m weak.“Don’t be dramatic,” the man in question tells me. “We’ll be fine.”“You’re not the one who’s going to have to pretend to be dating you,” I say, because snark is my default state around Simon. This night is going to be horrible.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: COC 2019 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553623
Comments: 1
Kudos: 181
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	the reunion

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

I can, actually. Simon Snow can make me do anything just by asking. I’m weak.

“Don’t be dramatic,” the man in question tells me. “We’ll be fine.”

“You’re not the one who’s going to have to pretend to be dating you,” I say, because snark is my default state around Simon. This night is going to be horrible.

“It’s not too late to back out, I can always call Penny,” Simon says, as if he hadn’t asked her first. She said no, of course, so Simon had to come to me. That’s what I am, a last resort.

“We’re almost there, Snow. We might as well, now.” In fact, we’ve only got one intersection left, and then we’re at the location.

“Turn right here,” he points.

“I know.”

He rolls his eyes and I grin at the windshield. Annoying Simon is my specialty, after all. However, I might have to turn it down a notch for tonight.

“Try to be nice, alright? Or else this isn’t going to work.”

“I’m a fantastic actor,” I say as I parallel park the car perfectly. I’m not lying, I am a good actor. I’ve been friends with Simon for five years now, and he still hasn’t noticed my massive crush on him. We were roommates in college, and from the first moment I saw him, I was smitten. Then, he had to be the nicest guy possible, always helping me with projects and staying up late to spell-check my essays, and the rest is history.

Him not figuring it out might also have to do with his utter obliviousness, of course, because I’m quite sure that Penny has known for a while. He was probably distracted by Agatha, as well. But we don’t think about Agatha.

I turn off the car and wrestle myself out. I’m a bit too tall for my car, but I really like the model. Plus, driving around London with a big car is a nightmare, so I’ll keep my small one, thank you very much.

I shake my head to make my hair look elegantly messy and adjust my suit slightly while I move to the sidewalk, where Simon is waiting. He’s not looking too bad, his curls slightly more tamed than usual and wearing a gorgeous blue suit that matches his eyes. He’s a sight for sore eyes, alright. And I get to be his pretend boyfriend for the night. Terrific.

Simon exhales a laugh when I’ve reached him, and he’s looking at my suit. I feel slightly offended. It might be a bit overkill, but I know I look amazing in my flowered suit. I lift an eyebrow, daring him to say something, but he wisely stays quiet.

As we’re walking to the building he pointed out earlier, I say, “Remind me why I’m here again?”

“Baz, I’ve told you.”

“I want to laugh at you again,” I tell him. No other ulterior motives, of course.

He looks at me sideways and huffs. “We’re going to my school reunion. I wasn’t planning to go, but one of the bullies from back then baited me and now I can’t _not_ show up.”

I nod along. “Of course. And?”

He sighs extensively, but continues. “I told him I’d bring my partner, but he didn’t believe me. Because who would want to date me, right?”

I tactfully keep my mouth shut.

“And then I asked Agatha and initially she said yes, but then, you know. We broke up. And now you’re here.”

“Because you asked me to be your pretend boyfriend.”

He groans and I laugh as if being his boyfriend is such a laughably idea.

“We’re here,” Simon says as we arrive at a wide building with glass doors. There’s a lot of people inside. Suddenly this seems like a bad idea.

“Wait,” I grab his arm (hello, biceps) and pull him back a little, so we don’t keep people from entering.

He looks at me questioningly, and then looks down at his arm where I’m still holding it. Oops. We’re not even inside yet and this night is already going great. I pull my hand back like I touched a stove (same thing, really) and clear my throat.

“What’s our story?”

“Huh?” He frowns. “Oh, right, we’re dating.”

I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make my heart flutter. Pathetic.

He says, “Can’t we use our story but with a few tweaks? Roommates in college, now we’re dating.”

“Romantic,” I remark, trying to extinguish my gay panic. Why did I agree to this?

Simon laughs. Oh yes, that’s why. “We’ll improvise, come on.”

He grabs my hand and pulls me to the doors. As we enter, I keep my eyes entirely on the people around me and the decorations, ignoring the burning feeling of Simon’s hand in mine.

We walk past a group of people, most of them our age. I can feel a lot of eyes on us, although I’m not sure if it’s because we’re two men holding hands or because I’m wearing this ridiculous suit. I flash them a nervous smile, finding myself incapable of anything else. The Baz from this morning would kick my arse for not looking intimidating, but he’s not in this situation.

Simon has finally stopped pulling me along. It appears we stopped at the food tables. Predictably.

“Are we going to hide here, forever?” Please say yes.

“Of course not,” he scoffs. “I just wanted to get a vantage point of the room.”

“And a snack,” I say, because I can see straight through his bullshit.

“And a snack,” he admits. He releases my hand in favour of a scone on the table. I glare at it.

Simon takes a bite and notices me looking. “What?” He says, mouth full. I shouldn’t find it so endearing.

Before I can reply, we’re joined by two women. “Oh my god,” one of them says. “Simon Snow?”

He manages to swallow his scone and smiles pleasantly at them. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. “Hi,” he says. “Uh...”

I snort. He clearly forgot who these women are. I decide to save him. “Good evening, girls. I’m Baz. Simon’s boyfriend,” I add, because I can. If only for one night.

Next to me, Simon chokes on his scone. For someone who loves food, he’s really bad at eating.

“Nice to meet you, Baz,” the first woman says to me. “I’m Anastasia, this is Nadine. We were in Simon’s class.”

“Right!” Simon has recovered. “Sorry, you just look really different.”

Anastasia laughs. “I’d hope so! You’ve changed a lot, too.”

Do I sense a hint of flirtation there? I will not stand for this. “I love your dress, Nadine. Did you make it yourself?”

“I did!” Nadine confirms. It was a fairly easy guess, considering how terrible it looks. It’s grey, boring, and hangs off her body without accentuating any shapes. I’m not saying I would be able to make a better dress, but I could.

“So, Simon,” Anastasia starts. I almost roll my eyes. This lady. “What do you do now? I always imagined you as a hero of some sort, like a fireman or a doctor.”

“I’m a kindergarten teacher, actually.” Simon says with pride. It makes me smile. He’s always crazy proud of those kids, constantly texting me about them and sending me pictures of drawings they made. He’ll be a great father someday.

I realise I’ve stopped listening to the conversation and I’ve been staring at Simon with a lovesick smile on my face for a few seconds and school my expression.

I’m pretty sure Nadine noticed but she doesn’t say anything, she just looks amused. Anastasia has come closer and is now within touching distance of Simon. Alarms are going off in my head but I keep still. I’m not his actual boyfriend, I shouldn’t care.

Then Anastasia laughs exaggeratedly and puts her hand on Simon’s chest, and I’m moving. I’ve grabbed his hand in a second and I tell the women, “We’re going to snog now,” while pulling Simon with me to an empty corner of the room.

Simon looks perplexed when I finally let go. I may have overreacted. “What are you doing?” He asks.

“What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing? That woman was clearly flirting with you!” I try not to sound too affected.

“Huh?” He says intelligently.

“I’m pretending to be your boyfriend,” I tell him, “you can’t go around letting people flirt with you while I’m standing right there!”

Simon frowns. “She wasn’t flirting with me.”

“God, Snow. You wouldn’t recognize someone having a crush on you if they were right in front of you.”

That hit a bit too close to home. I need alcohol. Thankfully, a waiter passes by us, and I grab a glass of champagne. I chug it in one go. It makes me feel slightly better about this evening.

Simon hasn’t said a word. He’s rubbing his neck and looking around.

“Seen him yet?” I ask.

“Hm? Who?”

“The bully. The reason we’re here.” I feel like I shouldn’t be reminding him of this, when he’s been so focused on this event the last few days.

“Oh. No, I haven’t seen him yet.”

I lean back against the wall and pull my leg up at an angle. “Next you’ll tell me you just wanted a reason to take me here.”

“Ha ha,” he says, still looking around. “Funny.”

“I try.”

It seems like most people have arrived. I take my phone out of my jacket and look at the time. Half past nine. Everyone should be here by now, unless they’re fashionably late.

Simon has settled on the wall next to me. I lean toward him. “Hey. How long are we staying?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, we’ll see.”

I accept another glass of champagne. Simon hasn’t touched anything except for that one scone.

“D’you want another scone?” I ask him.

“Huh?”

God, what’s wrong with him? Somewhere between the women and now, something’s changed.

“Are you hungry? You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

“I’m fine,” he says, not very convincing because he’s still staring in front of him.

I shuffle closer and hit him with my shoulder. I don’t know why. I keep it there, so our shoulders and arms are touching. It feels nice. I feel warm inside, but that might be the alcohol.

I can see someone coming over, so I reach out and grab Simon’s hand. I can feel him jump slightly, but he doesn’t react otherwise. It’s a man, relatively attractive, that goes straight for Simon.

“Simon! It’s been a long time, mate!”

Simon’s face lights up and he pulls away to shake the man’s hand. “Michael! I didn’t know you were coming.”

The man, Michael, shrugs. “Danielle talked me into it. What about you? I thought you said you couldn’t make it?”

I raise an eyebrow. Interesting. Simon laughs, but it sounds more like a nervous laugh. I’m not sure what’s going on. He makes a gesture at me. “Baz talked me into it as well.”

Michael turns to me. Like I said, relatively attractive. Next to Simon, he’s much less handsome. He looks at me curiously. “Baz, huh?”

“That’s me,” I smile. I’m using my empty glass as an excuse not to shake his hand.

“You’re, uhm… Together?”

“Yes,” I say. I’m his terrible boyfriend that he doesn’t even want to talk to.

“Really?” Michael sounds surprised as he turns back to Simon. The latter seems embarrassed for some reason. I’m not following.

“Since college,” I add.

“Interesting.”

Okay, what is happening? Everyone is suddenly incredibly reserved. I’m beginning to think there was something in my drink.

“Say, Michael,” I start. “You wouldn’t happen to know a bully from your school that would be here, would you?”

“A bully?” He turns to Simon again. “Who’s he talking about?”

“We’re only here for him,” I continue, “then we can go home, right Simon?”

He nods slowly, but he’s exchanging looks with Michael and I don’t like it.

“Oh, there you are!” A woman, presumably Danielle, joins us. “Honey, who are these handsome men?”

I’d feel flattered if I weren’t so confused.

Michael puts his arm around Danielle’s waist and gestures to Simon and I. “It’s Simon. I’ve told you about him.”

“Oh, Simon Snow! Nice to finally meet you,” she smiles at him warmly. I like her much more than Anastasia already.

“Hi, Danielle.” He looks like he’d rather jump out of a window than continue this conversation, and I can’t begin to wonder why. I’m quite certain Danielle is not the bully Simon was talking about, because he’d been using he/him pronouns.

I step forward so I’m next to my pretend boyfriend, and raise my glass at Danielle. “Hello, I’m Baz, Simon’s boyfriend.”

“Baz! I’ve heard so much about you! Wait.” She looks between us. I can hear Simon sigh next to me. “Boyfriend?”

“Uhm,” Simon says.

I copy Michael and put my arm around Simon’s waist. I feel him stiffen. We probably should’ve practiced this before tonight, but I didn’t think Simon would indulge me.

“Yes,” I say, because Simon is quiet.

Danielle looks delighted. “Oh, wow! Finally! Congratulations. Michael told me a lot about you two and I’m glad you finally worked it out.”

Michael and Simon both suddenly look very uncomfortable.

“It’s not...” Simon starts.

Danielle talks right over him. “How many times I’ve had to listen to Michael’s rants about Simon, concerning you! And then when he started dating that Agatha, he was very frustrated with him,” she tells me. I’m having trouble keeping track of what she’s saying.

“Danielle--” Michael starts.

“Oh Simon,” she keeps going, facing Simon now. “I told Michael it’d work out! I knew that if you just told him--”

“Okay!” Michael practically shouts, dragging Danielle away. “We’re going to get some food. I’ll see you later, Simon.”

“What?” I hear Danielle say while she’s being dragged away.

I am utterly lost. “What the hell is going on?” I demand.

“Fuck,” Simon replies.

“Simon?”

He’s leaning against the wall again and slowly sliding down to the floor. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s definitely something,” I say. “Wait here.”

I walk towards the table with drinks and drink some water, evading eye contact with the people around me. I’m not in the mood.

When I feel significantly less tipsy, I go back to Simon. He’s sitting on the floor now, with his hands in his hair.

“Simon,” I repeat. “What’s going on? What was she talking about?”

I join him on the floor and poke his leg.

“Can we just pretend this never happened?” He mumbles.

“Absolutely not.”

Simon huffs. “That’s what I thought.”

“Answer me.”

“I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, you’re smart.”

My head is reeling and I’m glad I’m sitting down. “Pretend I’m still drunk and explain it to me.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Simon.”

“Baz.”

I reach out for his hands and gently take them from his head. I hold them between us and squeeze once. “Simon,” I repeat, quieter.

He sighs and lifts his head. He looks at me with a painful grimace, and then looks down at our hands. “I’ve been talking to Michael a lot over the past months,” he starts. “And after a while he noticed how much I mentioned you, even while I was still dating Agatha.”

My heart is beating so fast, I think I might faint.

“And he made me realise some things, I guess.”

“You guess?” I can’t help but interrupt.

“Yes, you twit. I realised something, and it was incredibly scary. Because I was still dating Agatha, you see? So I told her, and we broke up.”

“You weren’t that sad about it,” I’m starting to understand.

“Not really. We separated as friends. I told Penny, and she told me to take you here with me.”

“So there’s no bully? Why?”

“I just… Wanted to test it.”

“Wanted to test what?” I ask. I feel close to bursting.

Simon laughs slightly. “Test this.” He shakes our clasped hands. “Us.”

“Huh.” My soul has left my body at the moment.

“I was sure you didn’t feel the same way, but then you’ve been saying some things today, and now you’re being weird, so...”

“Simon.”

“You’ve been calling me Simon a lot this evening.”

“ _Simon_.”

“Yes, Baz?”

“Say it.”

“Say what?” Now he’s just teasing me.

“You know what I mean.”

He smiles at me and I’m about to combust.

Then, on the tile floor of this random building, hired for a special event that Simon dragged me to under false pretenses, he says:

“I’m in love with you.”

My head was spinning but now everything is bright and clear and I laugh happily. “You’re terrible.”

He looks amused. “What?”

“I’ve been in love with you for five years, you incredible nightmare.”

His mouth falls open. “Really? Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“I didn’t think you felt the same way!”

“I think I’ve always been a little bit in love with you, it’s just gotten a lot stronger this year.”

“Well.” I say. I can’t believe this is happening.

Simon grins at me. Because he’s in love with me. Simon Snow is in love with me! “Well,” he says. And then, he leans forward.

And then, on this tile floor, he kisses me.


End file.
